Practical Change
…a lifestyle column

August 10, 2006

It has occurred to me lately that there are times in life when it is appropriate to ‘Stand Down’. The Military defines ‘Stand Down’ as the movement of soldiers in combat to a safe place for rest and recovery. It is also a method used by the Military to correct an issue that has been identified as a problem throughout its ranks.

American Heritage Dictionary defines ‘Stand Down’ as: to withdraw, to end a state of readiness.

Have you ever fought for something so hard only to have it keep whacking you in the face over and over again with its stubborn refusal to yield to your intention? There comes a time in a wise person’s life when the pain and suffering that they have endured to stand by something has exhausted them to the point of heartbreak…a time when they are disillusioned, disappointed, disheartened and discouraged beyond belief…perhaps a time when this something has caused them to feel that people are inherently flawed…

This would signify the time to ‘Stand Down’. In my opinion ‘Stand Down’ does not mean to give up, instead it means to detach and quell the emotional reactivity of a situation. Sometimes things have to become worse before they can improve and actually the seeming appearance of ‘worse’ is really good at work… in disguise.

When you are sure that you have done all you can in regards to a particular situation it may be the time to ‘Stand Down’---you will know in your heart of hearts when you have prayed enough, been angry enough, been disappointed enough, been lied to enough, been played enough, been betrayed enough, cried enough, talked enough, yelled enough and worked hard enough. All of a sudden one day you will wake up and feel that it is time to ‘Stand Down’, time to move away from the attachment of that situation…time to let the other characters see the cost of their behavior…time for you to re-group and remember that there is occasionally more power in ‘Standing Down’ than there is in continuing to ‘Stand Up and Fight’.

Some of the best warriors and most brilliant minds have seen the wisdom in a ‘Stand Down’. Even those of us that are strong-willed, control freaks can see the value of an occasional ‘Stand Down’. There are times when it is better to withdraw than to compete with things that are beneath you.

To ‘Stand Down’ when necessary does not mean that you are weak or that you lack the courage to keep fighting, it means that you are able to see the point in a situation when it is time for you to pull in and observe. When it is time to stop pushing so hard and just let nature take its course. When you have done all your work in a particular situation you can trust that the overall outcome will be for the good, even if the present circumstances resemble a giant garbage dump.

Life has a way of teaching people what they need to know…and you can count on people’s actions returning to them in kind...

If someone loves, they will be loved. If someone harms, they will be harmed. There is no avoiding the cause and effect laws of the universe, no matter who you think you are.

So take heed and if you are faced with a situation thatrequires it, ‘Stand Down’ with style and Grace…

Click here to read the August 6, 2006 column.
Click here to read the first column.